


Not Gonna Raichu a Love Song

by Mudheart7567



Category: Pokemon GO, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Puns, Crack, Dirty Jokes, Established Relationship, F/M, Humour, Lots of Innuendo, Pokemon, Pokemon GO References, Pure crack honestly, Rey plays Animal Crossing, The result of encouraging my sense of humour, There's some references to bedroom activities, This is terrible and I won't pretend otherwise, and innuendo, pokemon puns, quarantine madness has set in, rating M to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:00:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23673478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mudheart7567/pseuds/Mudheart7567
Summary: Pokemon puns. That's all this is. Nothing else.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	Not Gonna Raichu a Love Song

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shestoolazytologin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shestoolazytologin/gifts).



> This fic is just pure crack, don’t expect anything good to come of this. Shout out to Shestoolazytologin for the encouragement :’)

It’d started out innocently enough. A clever pun here and there, usually when it was Onix-pected. There was an unspoken competition between the two of them and it all revolved around their mutual love for Pokemon. Even now, years after the Pokemon GO craze had died down to only the most dedicated of the fanbase, Rey and Ben still played whenever they had the time. 

Apparently the collection and battling aspect of the mobile game wasn’t enough, they’d added in a battle of wits to see once and for all who was the ultimate Pokemon Master. 

Rey had been the one to initiate. A throwaway joke as an attempt to throw Ben off from claiming _her_ gym that sparked a war. “Your technique is simply _Gastly_.”

While her distraction had *almost* worked, Ben was still able to claim the gym as his own. “Nice try,” he’d told a frustrated Rey with a cocky, lopsided smirk. “I’ve gotta say, your attempt was… a-Mew-sing.”

A groan followed and then the pair dissolved into reluctant chuckles. Yes their puns were Torterra-ble, but what better way to assert dominance?

The puns only spiraled further from there. Nowhere was safe.

The kitchen. “Hey babe, do you reckon this bacon is starting to look… Oddish?”

D&D at Rose’s. “You take 2d6 of psychic damage and begin to feel-” “Drowzee?”

Ben’s parents’ house. “You know where I’ve always wanted to go? _Paras_.”

Even the supermarket. “If you’re going to get cake, make sure it’s Butterfree.”

Ben had come to enjoy their witty little exchanges, especially the more creative ones. After all, there was so much more to Rey than just her Charmander good looks. That thought had prompted a giggle and an odd look from Hux and Poe, whom he was out grabbing after-work beers with.

Gradually the innocent puns grew more flirtatious, and then downright filthy. It was inevitable.

Perhaps it was further fueled by madness induced by the recent quarantine rules put in place, or perhaps it was due to the fact they spent more time in the bedroom than anywhere else. 

Currently Rey laid sprawled out along the sofa, her Switch in hand and her eyes glazed over as she stared unseeingly at her latest session of Animal Crossing. Heaving a sigh she turned off the device and grimaced at her reflection in the now dark screen. She looked about as dead inside as she felt.

“This is ridiculous,” she groaned. “I’m so bored!”

“We could always go upstairs and you could Rhydon my Dick-lett?” Ben offered, the corner of his mouth quirking upward cheekily. Rey’s expression morphed into a half-hearted glare as her gaze slowly trailed over to the Shif- _tree_ of a man lazing on the opposite recliner.

“After that pun?” Rey snorted. “Not a Chansey.”

“What if I put my Meowth on you and Lickilicky til you Squirtle?”

“ _Ben,_ ” his name came out as a warning, but she couldn’t help the amused smile slowly spreading across her features.

“Or perhaps you could go take a shower. I could Pikachu and have a Marowak while I stare at your Jigglypuffs?”

The bastard was enjoying himself far too much with this. His lazy, shit-eating grin should have annoyed her to hell and back but against her wishes interest sparked in her traitorous Nether Region™. He was too Exegg _cute_ for his own good.

“Just because you Kangaskhan doesn’t mean you Kangas _should_ , Benjamin.” She could be strong. She wouldn’t stoop to his level nor would she give in. She wouldn’t.

“Alright, alright, no need to get Krabby,” he responded easily, holding his palms up in a gesture of peace. “...Are you sure I couldn’t interest you in my Sudowoodo?”

“These puns are beginning to get more and more Farfetch’d.”

“Can you blame me? You’re not wearing Abra.”

“...I’m about to come over there and Machoke you.”

It wouldn’t be the first time she had the urge and it wouldn’t be the last, especially considering for the foreseeable future she couldn’t go out and spend time with other people. Now if her Cloyster could just get the memo, that’d be great. 

“So Tenta _cruel_ ,” Ben teased, casually rising from his seat and striding over to straddle her hips. Slowly he lowered his lips to her throat, giving her a slow, hot Smoochum complete with tongue and teeth. 

“I can’t Bayleef you,” Rey breathed out with a shudder. 

“There’s no Shaymin coming upstairs, I’ll Excadrill you til you Muk.”

“Muk?” Rey made a face, not getting it.

“What’s Muk spelt backwards?”

“...oh. **Oh**.” 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When all was said and done it’d been thoroughly satisfying and refreshing to Beedrill’d into the mattress; she didn’t think she could have handled a Slowpoke. She could hardly complain about the enthusiasm with which Ben attacked her Clamperl and gave her a good, long Cubone. At times it was so good it left her Weezing, seeing Staryu’s as they Rapidashed to the finish and collapsed into a Tangela of limbs. 

Except perhaps Ben had been a tad _too_ enthusiastic, her Swinub was a little Bulba-sore even if she was in complete Blissey. She gave a cheeky little Trapinch to his naked, rock-hard Boldores and bestowed him with a sweet Togekiss.

A Tranquill expression fell over his features. “Now we can Slakoth,” he Whismur’d.

“I love Mew.”

“I love Mewtwo.”

**Author's Note:**

> Muddy used Nasty Plot. It failed!


End file.
